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NYU Local
Oct 6, 2011
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By Zach Sokol
While NYU Local knows that binge drinking is not the only way to have a good time, we still like our Devil’s nectar. A lot. As any Four Loko user or Pride and Clarke aficionado knows, however, the next-day hangover is often a hefty price to pay for a night full of drunken shenanigans. We’ve all experienced a Sunday morning consisting of no activity other than wallowing in our beds with Netflix, dramatically swearing off drinking for the rest of our lives. NYU Local shares your pain, and wants to prevent that sensation of being skullfucked by fermented potatoes in readers’ futures. The following includes a list of hangover cures that will help drinkers get out of their beds and back into the bars.
The Greasy Breakfast Special:
Although ingesting pounds of greasy, fattening food can yield a variety of future problems, gluttonous eating habits are a quick (and delicious) way to eradicate hangovers. If on a meal plan, then Palladium brunch is your best bet for an epic meal, though there’s a risk you might run into that drunken hook-up from the previous night. Otherwise, Local recommends a bacon egg and cheese (ideally from Murray’s Cheese) with a complementary Lemon Lime Gatorade. Say adios to your headache and then immediately fall back asleep thanks to a food coma.
Bad Energy Out, THC In — Smoking Marijuana:
NYU Local would never condone drug use, but studies have shown that killing a couple bowls will numb the awful hangover symptoms that plague us all [Ed. Note : said “studies” were conducted by various Local staffers, not medical professionals]. Only problem with this cure is that post-smoking productivity might be as low as pre-smoking productivity.
An Ode to Hemingway — Keep Drinking!
The “hair-of-the-dog-that-bit-you” idea is a sure-fire method to end your hangover, though this “cure” is simply delaying the problem. Diuretics like coffee and alcohol will only exacerbate headaches. Local recommends this strategy only on Saturday mornings. Pro tip: try Butch Bakery’s alcoholic cupcakes to eat and drink away your hangover.
Sweat The Poison Out — Visit the Saunas at Coles Gym:
The combination of exercise and a hangover typically catalyzes vomiting. Therefore, skip the gym and head straight to the steam room. Coles has saunas to help cleanse your system. The only problem is that you might enter the gym with a hangover, but leave with a Staph Infection.
Make Your Yoga Instructor Proud, Take Vitamins and Herbal Remedies:
Health supplements like Vitamins B6 and B12, as well as gingerroot, have been known to reduce hangovers. Make your way over to your local (and probably over-priced) health food store and pick these products up. Your spirit animal will thank you.
Ultimately, abstaining from alcohol is the only guarantee in preventing a hangover. Students will inevitably drink, though, and the above suggestions can alleviate the painful symptoms that occur when your blood alcohol content levels drop. If readers know of other great hangover cures, let us know in the comments below!
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